Life in the Dark

Life in the dark

Today was the first day that I actually saw the Sun. The actual ball of light in the sky that kind of hurts to look directly at. Even though it was -11˚C/12˚F, I got Amelia outside as much as possible. We initially played in the deep snow in front of our apartment, building slides and digging out forts. It was fun to play there in the deep snow and Amelia was probably staying fairly warm since she had to work so hard to climb up huge piles of snow. However, the sun was not shining on us. This was the first day the clouds had parted and allowed the sun and blue sky to shine. I wanted go to where the sun’s glow could shine on my face just be like the glowing trees up ahead. Amelia excitedly hopped into her new (thrift store) sled and I pulled her towards the light. Wearing my snow pants, coat, gloves, and boots, my face and spirit appreciated the *warmth* of the sun’s touch. I found the ball of light in the sky, the SUN, and looked straight into it. It was about 11:00 and the sun was barely above the buildings and trees ahead, which are downhill from us (Thank goodness we live up on a hill!). Amelia was starting to get cold so we traveled back home. As I walked, I appreciated the synergistic light that the snow, ice on the tree branches and the sunlight made, and the beautiful blue sky. Fortunately, we were traveling south so I looked right into the sun as we walked home. Inside we sat and ate. I attentively looked out the window and watched the sun’s glow slowly creep onto the building across from us. The sun’s glow only reached as far as the upstairs apartments' dormer windows. The sunshine never reached the ground in the green space we have in front of our building. I coveted the apartments that were kissed by the sun. We do have south/southeast facing windows in our bedroom but tall trees right behind our apartment and buildings across the street block any promise of the low rising sun. (I have enjoyed watching the birds and the squirrels in the trees. Amelia and I also saw a mysterious small glow of light on a tree – maybe a fairy?? so I’m not complaining too much about those trees!) Once Amelia was done with her lunch I swept her up into my excitement to go find the SUN in the sky. All bundled up again, we found that the sun had moved to the west but still just barely above the buildings.
It was my understanding that we’d only experience about 4 hours of light this time of year. I have been pleasantly surprised that we actually have light from about 8:00 to 14:30/2:30pm. Two and a half hours longer than I expected. The sun isn’t actually above the horizon that long but there is light that breaks the darkness. Another misconception is that as far as we can tell, Swedes don’t have the sing-song talking style that the Muppet’s Swedish chef has. Remember him?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY_Yf4zz-yo
According to Ulf, a man from the University helping us get our Swedish personnumbers, the Norwegians have this sing-song style. He said that even when they are mad it’s hard to take them seriously because they sound so happy.
(A story on our personnumber will be coming soon…)

Life in the dark. This has all been literal so far.
Figuratively, “life in the dark” has derailed us. Nothing is automatic or habitual. This can be hard. For instance, when I try to navigate through the grocery store and keep Amelia happy. I don’t know where things are or if I will even be able to find the foods we ordinarily eat, I can’t read the labels, I don’t recognize their food, and I’m attempting to do the math conversion to figure the price. Meanwhile, remember I’m attempting to keep Amelia happy and somewhat *controlled*. ;)
Life in the dark. It can also be inspiring. I see the SUN with new eyes like a child. Not only the sun, but everything. I took a picture of a “tree tunnel” covered in snow. The snow highlights every little intricate branch on the birch trees above us. A man asks me where I’m from and if we have snow there. I answer and say that yes we do have snow. I think to myself, oh but it’s so beautiful like the first snow I see each winter. And the light is so deep and full of color.
In both cases, “life in the dark” can be exhausting.
I will forever empathize with foreigners navigating the U.S. I vow to seek them out and be as helpful as I can. Give them tips for breaking the ice. I’m so fortunate that Mona arranged an apartment for us and that our Canadian neighbors have given us so many tips about living here in Umeå. My experience does not even compare to foreigners in the U.S. I frequently remind myself of the luxuries I do have even though I am a foreigner here. Yes, it is difficult to go to the store and not be able to read anything or understand people when they speak to me. But most people speak English here!;) I just have to ask. It’s also difficult to do internet searches for where to go for yoga, children’s activities, or where to buy skis. But Google Translate can do all the translations for me. Lots of copy and pasting so it’s a bit time consuming… but what an amazing tool! And a big thumbs up for Google maps! I also think, we haven’t had the internet that long. What did people do without the internet? I guess they looked in phone books and talked to people.
I don’t recall feeling so derailed when I had only a backpack on my back and set off to travel around Central America. Something is different this time. Maybe it’s that I have a child in tow. Or that I’m now in my 30’s. Maybe the magical fairy dust wore off of me somewhere in my 20’s. While playing today, Amelia sprinkled the snow around and called it fairy dust. There is a lot of it here, so I think I shall replenish.
It’s a new year and its 2012!! It’s time to find the beauty in the darkness.
Life in the dark. It teaches humility, empathy, appreciation. Ironically, it sheds light and opens the world.


P.S. If anyone wants to send us a little bag of nutritional yeast we will cherish it. We all love it on our popcorn and it’s my most successful way to get Amelia to eat anything that is green.